Today.. somehow.. i made her angry again.."i am not good enough..."
this kind of thing, always pop up in my mind when i try to sleep.. thus prevent me from sleep peacefully.. huhu.. i'm so weak. weak.
Anyway.., after i come back home last night, she write something about.. Gunnysacking.
The evils of gunny-sacking
A gunny sack is a large burlap bag used to carry potatoes or other agricultural product. It can also hold sand for sandbags and is used for the traditional sack race. According to Wikipedia, it holds 100 pounds of potatoes, and “the sack” is the standard unit of measurement for potatoes.
A hundred pounds of anything is a lot, especially if you're carrying it around on your back. When it is filled with insults, resentments, hurt feelings and other unresolved issues, it can feel like it weighs a thousand pounds. Eventually you have to unload it, often to an inappropriate degree and at an inappropriate time. When instead of saying, “You forgot to take out the trash last night,” you find yourself saying, “You forgot to take out the trash again last night. You never take out the trash. You always leave your towels on the floor, your dirty dishes in the sink, you track mud in, you drink too much, you watch too much TV...” and et cetera, then you're gunny-sacking. A sudden crisis or even a small affront is the straw that breaks the camel's back and you unload every past grievance you've been storing all at once. This makes it doubly difficult to resolve the issue at hand and if you make a habit of this kind of response, your spouse may deem it safer never to bring up issues or problems for fear of having the past thrown up in his face. He may even begin to avoid you entirely.How to deal more constructively with the contents of your gunny sack? Empty it frequently, as soon as something gets placed in it. Initiate a conversation about what's bothering you, and don't wait until there's 20 things bothering you—talk about each thing as it happens and you won't feel so put upon and your spouse won't feel like he's being attacked.
and so.. i .....
i need to improve myslef, for i can't afford myself to lose her. never. she is toooooo precious to me. i want o be with her forever.